Moms are special people

REBA MCENTIRE.......(im a survivor)

"I was born three months too early
The doctor gave me thirty days
But I must've had my mama's will And God's amazing grace
I guess I'll keep on livin'
Even if this love's to die for
'Cause your bags are packed and I ain't cryin
' You're walkin' out and I'm not trying To change your mind
'cause I was born to be

Chorus: The baby girl without a chance A victim of circumstance The one who oughta give up, but she's just Too hard headed A single mom who works two jobs Who loves her kids and never stops With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter I'm a survivor

I don't believe in self-pity
It only brings you down
May be the queen of broken hearts
But I don't hide behind the crown
When the deck is stacked against me I just play a different game
My roots are planted in the past
And though my life is changin' fast
Who I am is who I wanna be

Repeat Chorus A single mom who works two jobs Who loves her kids and never stops With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter I'm a survivor But I must've had my mama's will And God's amazing grace "

- photo of my Mom and I-

I get goosebumps every time I here this song.... I think of my mom, she raised us alone and worked three jobs to give us what we needed and wanted.
As mothers we unknowingly sign a contract the minutes we get pregnant to put our children ahead of ourselves.
In pregnancy we strive to eat well, not drink or smoke and overall take better care of ourselves for the sake of our unborn baby. Then after the birth you surrender your ENTIRE life to the well being of a small creature who is demanding and tedious. But we love them, I think we are wired to love them.
If someone were to tell you that in nine months an alien new to this planet would some into your house and demand all of your time, energy and resources you would probably call the FBI and have them ready with a SWAT team! But we willingly make preparations for the coming of these new little people. We dream of the colors of their nursery to playing in the park and going on first dates. We pick their names fold their onsies and buy them ever single item available to make raising a baby easier and more comfortable. (seriously do you REALLY need 2 wipe warmers in the house??)

And as they grow we give them not only time and resources but our knowledge and wisdom as well,
Like I said in my last post we strive to raise these children of ours to be confident competent adult and take the best of ourselves and give it to them and try to keep the worst away from them.

Dads are great to dont get me wrong but there is just something spectacular about a mother.

OK now launching off into a JMO- I have always wondered why it is that Mothers are automatically in our culture given the brunt of the child raising responsibilities, such as when a Dad watches his kids its "baby sitting" yet a mother is expected to watch them. And when sadly a couple divorces 9 times out of 10 the mother is expected to take the children and raise them herself. While the husband is allowed to roam free of his responsibilities minus child support and bi weekly visits. I think it all comes down to the fact that we as mothers are just plain better at it.
An example of this is my husband, who God bless him tries very hard, but just does not get it. He could sleep through a category 5 hurricane and not bat and eye, yet I wake if my baby sneezes, sighs, rolls around, or whimpers... Even in the next room! I even karate chopped my husband once for almost rolling on our infant, seriously from a deep sleep I awoke and bam chop to the head! lol He calls it my "mommy sense" and knows that when it tingles we should listen to it!

Ok back to the topic,
We as mothers need to give ourselves a quick break, know that you are doing the best with what you have and unlike the books magazines and other play group moms would have you believing we all try to make it day to day minute to minute. We all get frustrated and sad, depressed and exhilarated. Shit why skydive when you can just have kids! You get all the emotions with less danger of head splatting!
I just want all moms to know that even if you are not the same as each other we share a common bond, a band of mothers who joined a sacred club the moment they peed on the stick. We can make jokes to each other about almost anything baby related and get it, when our none baby friends may look at us like we are alien, and we just plain understand each other.

Speaking of non baby friends when was the last time you had a conversation not involving your kids? and do they ever get that deer in the headlights look when you bring up potty training or blow outs for the umpteenth time? Ah yes this is why we need like minded mommies friends to listen to our ranting of onsies and stretch marks, skinned knees and make believe.

Because again when you signed that contract, when you became a mother you gave up a piece of you to give to them, Will you ever get it back? probably not, but hey thats A ok with me.

playdate

So, I take my kids to a weekly play date of sorts. It is held here on our base and it is hit or miss of weather people will actually show up. I have a few dilemmas about play dates though. First is that I always wonder why it is that "craft" time is made so that the craft is difficult enough that the Mom has to step in and "help"..... Then my kid looks like an art genius and I have glitter all over me! Lol why cant they just make the crafts at these things more accessible to the lil ones. Like i dunno edible glue and NO feathers.....

Also I have noticed a great number of mommies coming in and sharing the latest and greatest gossip while their little one plays. It becomes the cocktail hour for the wives here on base. We have found an outlet to let our kids run around like orphaned wild children while we find out about who has the most hideous shoes for the military ball or who's car was parked outside whos house when hubby was at work! Ok I wll admit I partake occasionally in conversations but please ladies we must leave some discretion and keep our dirty laundry where it belongs.... at home! :-)

And I am also a bit confused on edicate for the parent towards other peoples children. If your kid hits mine I have thoughts of an upper cut to that kids jaw! JK no but seriously if their child act inappropriately and they do nothing about it even when well aware what do we as parents do? Do we condone the act, tell our kids to hit back or do we take matters in our own hands and tell the little snot to back off!?
If my little girl lays a FINGER on another kid her butt is in the corner.....

But I notice many Moms like to be the Martha Steward of the play group, with their designer clothes and polished nails. Hunny I have No time for that crap, even if I did put away the nursing bra and pulled on some real clothing I could not keep it same from spit up long enough to make it in to play morning. I am lucky if my kids are fed dressed and wearing underwear, Some days it feels like high school all over again. Moms grouping with other moms getting the scoop and checking out the competition..... Come on! We all survived labor and birthing, we all raised them to the age that they can attend these play groups. So cant we just support each other and leave the kaddyness for the teen age group???

Well that is about all I have to say on play groups.... for now, I am needed by my son for a boobie snack....
I will be back with more questions and insight soon

Logging off
Liz